“I too remember a time when I would turn on the TV and only see pale skin. I got teased and taunted about my night shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter skinned.-LN
Reading this made my heart ache.It made the past demons revisit me.Growing up mixed you always have a sense of not belonging.You always feel like you have to choose a side.I remember growing up as the only mixed child in town in deep Siberia Russia.The name calling,the glares and worst of all the idea that people could come up to your face and say anything they felt like saying about your skin color is not a treat.I remember wishing to be fully Russian,to have perfectly straight hair and pretty green eyes.I badly wanted to fit it and at young age being outside the box was quite a foreign idea.I remember watching MTV and seeing black performers being embraced and being shown on TV.I was just mesmerised and thought to myself I’m not alone somewhere there are people that I can relate to.The event that stands out to me the most was when our landlords kids were scheduled to come and visit our apartment.I remember they came in and left the room quite shortly.I heard the landlord lady talk to them outside they were refusing to stay any longer due to the Negro sitting in the living room.As a child you can’t do anything about it.The landlord gave some excuse and I saw my grandmother crying.You know to be honest I had it hard but I think my great grandmother had it the worst protecting me from all of the hate and also trying to stay strong for me. Thinking about it how do the family feel when their own blood is victim of racism?When their own child doesn’t like their own skin color and is ashamed of it.The child you created hates their skin and nationality based on others thoughts and comments.It breaks my heart to think some little boy or girl hates their skin colour and prays for it to despair.It is not fair.Why do we have this image of white being beautiful?Yes being white is beautiful but so is being black or mixed or Indian.Any color and any race is beautiful.I know it is sad and can sound cheesy but words are words and actions are actions.If we look at media it is still very much one colored. I do love Lupita’s style,her acting skills,her positivity but what makes me love her is that she is to some little boy or little or even me a 18 girl an inspiration and a role model with whom we can identify.No matter how much racism their is in the world you can’t change the fact that at the end of the day we are all just humans and all are equal.Like it or not.